With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet

Hey there hi there hello there....
I didnt post last week because I was pissed at myself.  I only lost 2 pounds last week.  This week I lost seven, making my total 34. Not bad, but I should be doing better.  Oh, well.

I gotta say, I'm starting to feel soooo much better now that im doing healthy stuff.  And yesterday, i tied my shoe while wearing it.  That used to be a harder than finding a good ethiopian restraunt. (Ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they...) But little things like that just make me feel much better about myself.  I walk to and from work everyday now, and I'm still playing ball pretty much every single night. And we're always looking for more people to play, so anyone interested should come on out.  Unless you're really good, then you can go f*ck yourself.
  Anyway....So I still eat every day up at The Office thanks to Missy, Trevor, and everyone else up there.  I get to munch out on some awesome food and stay healthy.  So that's pretty freakin' sweet. I've been trying to convince Missy to let me drink for free too, but she's not havin it.  I've also tried to convince her to have a wet tee shirt contest too, but she said no.  I don't know why.  I would win hands-down.  I've been rockin these sweet bewbs and i wanna win something with them before they're gone...
That's all I got for now.  Again thanks everyone for all the support.  It's been awesome and I'm not even close to done yet.

PS
Merry Birthmas James Woods!

cactus gorillas

Decent loss this week. Six pounds.  Brings the total to 25 in three weeks.  Five pounds off my goal of thirty.  Oh well.  I need to hit double digits this week. So obviously I'm gonna have to step it up.   So That's what I'll be doing this week. Just wish the weather would stop being crazier than Charlie Sheen.  90 on Sunday and like 40 on monday? Seriously?
   Anyway...I can feel changes happening in my body, all for the better.  I can walk more than two steps without breathing heavy.  I can even run a round a little bit.  Colton and I played 2 on 2 ball with some kids up at swic, and I actually ran the pick and roll! Alot! It was nuts, actually moving.  I'm pretty much the fastest thing around.  I make Chris Johnson look like a bitch.  About three more weeks and I'll be good enough to play for those choke-artist Jayhawks (Thanks for ruining my bracket...Rock Chalk!) I'm a competetive guy who hates exercise, so basketball has been a fun way to make sure I get enough movement in a day.  So big thanks to Colton, Cameron, and paul; who pretty much play ball with me everyday.  Thanks to Retzer and Siegfried... I actually hate playing Cory, becasue that jolly green bastard pretty much dwarfs me. again, thank you all for letting me show you bitches how to play ball.
  Regarding the title of this post: I was thinking of a gorilla fuzed with cactus DNA.  Making it a cactus Gorilla...the most dangerous thing on the planet.  I don't do drugs.

Thanks for reading, I know it's hard sounding out letters and putting them together to form words. 

In Soviet Russia, Blog write you!

Five pounds this week.  Which is a bullshit number and I can do sooooooo much better.  Although, it might be a miracle that I lost anything. Kenhedy came home for spring break and we basically drank enough alcohol to kill a pod of killer whales. But now that spring break is done I'm gonna kick this ass into gear.  Playing ball tonight since it's nice out.  Hopefully this weather will make up its damn mind. 
   Inspite of wrecking my body and brain all week with booze, I managed to stay good on my eating habits.  I was forced into cake and sherbey ice cream at my little cousin Gracie's birthmas bash Sunday. (Merry Birthmas Gracie!) Other than that I've done a good job fighting my biggest enemy (aside from Tom Bosely's ghost) : delicious food.  Speaking of food, It wouldn't be right not mentioning the wonderful folks at The Office.  The food has been awesome everyday.  I swear, Trevor's culinary magic makes David Blaine look like a pussy.
      Anywho; I'm done with this five pounds bullshit.  I'm hitting double digits again this week. So this time next week, I'm gonna be about 12 pounds lighter and one step closer to total sexiness. That's all I got for now.  And remember what Thomas Jefferson always said, "French kissing your neighbor's camel is never a good decision."

100 free booger suckers

Hello
     Blog numero dos. 
So I had a weigh-in on Sunday. I lost fourteen pounds; pretty good starting week. I didn't do anything special, just walked, drank water, and watched what I ate. Again, I can't thank Missy and Trevor at The Office enough.  I swear, Trevor is a culinary Jesus.  He turns brusselsprouts into something edible, which in itself is a miracle.  They've made me delicious meals every day and it's really helped. Having something healthy that actually tastes good  makes things easier as the day goes on. So again, thank you.
    I gotta say, even though it's only been a week, I feel better. It's easier to walk to work than it was a week ago. I can move around when we play basketball.  I can't dunk yet, but I'm reeeeally close. I can almost touch the bottom of the net when I jump.
    Got pretty hammered on St. Patrick's Day, had a pretty good time.  I stuck with mostly bacardi and diet coke which has no calories...but i had to have some beer to feel a little hairy. So yeah, I was stupid hungover and only went on one walk Friday.  I also attempted to play ball, but I'm pretty sure a dead cat would've moved better than me.
That's all I got for now.  With the weather being as nice as it is, I am going to be outside as much as possible.  If you see what appears to be a sick water buffalo struggling along, don't try to shoot it. It's just me attempting to exercise...

Nuns talk shit, but they can't back it up

So this is my first blog attempt.  I've never done this before, but I was told by many people to keep a record of my "exploits".Well, here it is. If you're reading this you probably already know that I'm attempting to drop major poundaage (think pauly shore when you read that), and I have recently been surprised by a load of people and they offered their support.  I obviously need to thank first and foremost my bromosexual Jace.  I honestly had no clue you were doing that for me, so thanks man.  Just know, I'll be getting you back soon.  Everybody else who showed up, Mom, Dad, Aunt Hil, Rich, Missy, Lynn, Zach, Colton, Cameron, Paul, Collete, Steph, Chris. Thank you all for being there, and I hope i didnt forget anyone.  Grandma and Grandpa: Thanks for your support as well, and thanks for the shoes.  I hope i see you soon.  Thanks to everyone who's said anything nice or offered to help me in my mission. It's really cool to know  people care.
    Now that all the mushy stuff's done, I shall continue. Day one was Monday Mar. 15 and it went well. Unfortunately it was f*cking cold and rainy, so I didn't get to play basketball and I didn't go on my second walk. So i made up for it this morning by walking extra.  I plan to walk a lap or two at the path up at Lincoln Park, and I think we're playing ball.  As for food, I have been sticking to mostly apples and grapes. I had lunch yesterday and today at The Office; courtesy of Missy and Trevor.  Monday I had a chicken teryaki wrap with a salad and it was awesome. Today I had mahi-mahi with stirfry....and I almost splooged in my pants. It was phenominal!  Thanks again to the folks at The Office for the meals and the hospitality.  Everybody knows it's the best place in town.
Well, that's all I got.  Thanks again everyone for everything.  Just know that I'm gonna kick my ass all over the place, and I am going to make you proud.